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13 Things I Hope Happen When Eddie Murphy Hosts The Oscars

Thursday, September 8th, 2011

  1. There’s a performance by Sexual Chocolate.
  2. He wears a leather jumpsuit.
  3. The song played during the “In Memorium” is “Party all the Time.”
  4. He shows up as Norbit and says “Fuck You” to the crowd, before dropping the microphone and leaving during the opening monologue.
  5. He invites Joe Piscopo to sit in the front row and repeatedly rips on Joe Piscopo.
  6. After ripping on Joe Piscopo for two hours, Joe Piscopo is featured prominently in the “In Memorium.”
  7. Every presenter is accompanied by the theme song to Beverly Hills Cop.
  8. Every presenter is Judge Reinhold.
  9. Bowfinger is given an honorary Oscar for not getting its due.
  10. Dan Aykroyd is asked to host the Razzies and then, based on their respective performances, two old men exchange a dollar.
  11. He does 10 hours of standup to make up for lost time.
  12. He kills it.
  13. Seriously. He fucking kills it.

[via FunnyOrDie]

Posted in celebrity, funny | 1 Response »
Tags: academy awards, eddie murphy, funny, host, humor, lol, oscars, turd ferguson

Erin Andrews Went To The Oscars: No One Noticed

Tuesday, March 1st, 2011

If your boy Turd Ferguson was a famous, single athlete you better bahlee I’d throw game at Erin Andrews. Yes theres hotter sideline reporters out there but none are more famous than Erin. How famous is she? She went to the flippin Oscars! She aint a movie star. She’s famous for asking questions to college coaches right before half time. Well I take that all back, she was in the most famous documentary last year. You know, that one where she spent the entire movie naked looking at herself in the mirror.

Whooty alert

Click to continue »

Posted in erin andrews, id hit it, sports | No Responses »
Tags: erin andrews, id hit it, oscars, sexy, sports, turd ferguson

Jennifer Lawrence Saved A Terrible Award Show

Monday, February 28th, 2011

I had full intention to live blog The Academy Awards, but then came to my senses. The shit is way to long and I have a hot wife who wasnt going to wait until it was over at damn near midnight to service me. Although it would have been God damn awesome if I had made her service me during the live blogging. Next year.  Here are my thoughts on a few points.

Jennifer Lawrence: Where the hell did she come from? Hands down the hottest chick within a 20-mile radius of The Oscars last night. I had never heard of her or the movie she was in, Winters Something or Other… but who cares? All I can say is that I was half asleep and when they put her on the TV I was wide awake.

F’ing hot!

James Franco: Douche. Lets move on.

Click to continue »

Posted in celebrity, turd ferguson | No Responses »
Tags: 2011, james franco, jennifer lawrence, mila kunis, movie, natalie portman, oscars, turd ferguson

Mike Tyson Talks About The Oscars

Wednesday, February 23rd, 2011

Oscar Talk with Mike Tyson & Leonard Maltin from Mike Tyson

Posted in funny, video | No Responses »
Tags: academy awards, comedy, funny, humor, lol, mike tyson, oscars, turd ferguson, video, viral

Dumping Links On Yo Ass!

Sunday, February 22nd, 2009


  • 10 things that are more believable than A-Rod’s story
  • God damn you Minka Kelly!
  • I need a plus size girl
  • How to permanently delete your Face Book account
  • Kim Kardashian’s ass is unreal
  • Predetermined Oscar’s winners
  • UFO video, real or fake?
  • I want to fight Chris Brown

flasher

arod, a-rod, ALEX RODRIGUEZ, minka kelly, plus size, video, viral, ufo, chris brown, rihanna, kim kardashian, facebook, oscars,

Posted in funny | No Responses »
Tags: a-rod, ALEX RODRIGUEZ, arod, chris brown, facebook, kim kardashian, minka kelly, oscars, plus size, rihanna, ufo, video, viral

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