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Turd Ferguson’s 2011 Wish List

Monday, January 3rd, 2011

In 2011 I wish…

For Jessica Alba to do a full frontal nude sex scene
For me to star opposite in the scene where Jessica Alba does a full frontal nude sex scene
For another Epic Beard Man beat down video
For Vida Guerra’s booty to make a come back
For the Palin family to accidentally OD on prescription pills
For me find a duffle bag full of unmarked $100’s in the restroom of a McDonalds

Posted in funny, jessica alba | No Responses »
Tags: boxing, Cheryl Cole, comedy, floyd mayweather, funny, humor, id hit it, jessica alba, jessica simpson, kim kardashian, lol, manny paquioa, megan fox, nude, sex, sports, turd ferguson, vida guerra, yankees

Turd Ferguson’s Best of 2010

Tuesday, December 21st, 2010

Its that time of year again where I present to you, my loyal readers the best of 2010.

Most Visited Post: I Want To Bang Jessica AKA Miss Rabbit Part 3. Her real name is Jessica Zepeda and she has become a fan favorite with you guys so congrats to her.

The Fuck That Shit Award: Goes to this Japanese Olympic hurdler. This guy is only the greatest athlete I’ve ever seen. EVER.

More awards after the jump…

Click to continue »

Posted in awesome | 1 Response »
Tags: 2010, cell phone, comedy, funny, humor, jessica aka miss rabbit, jessica alba, lol, megan fox, picture, rosie jones, turd ferguson, year in review

Links At Random

Tuesday, December 21st, 2010

Vote for Tessie [SoCalGlamourGirls]
Drunk Yuppie douchebag gets owned by a bouncer [GiggityGreg]
Horrible gifts for baseball fans [Gunaxin]
Hot regular girls [DoubleViking]
Megan Fox vs the Hawaiian beaches [BeatByTheNudge]
And the winner is… WTF [Waspp]
10 best Christmas sitcom episodes [ToplessRobot]
Leah Dizon is back on the market [Japonator]
Late entry for broken arm video of the year [DonChavez]
Check out this side boob [Brahsome]
Example of when graffiti punks get witty [MickLanders]

Send everyone a Google blacklist Christmas card [ObviousWinner]

Posted in links | No Responses »
Tags: bikini, christmas, google, hot girl, leah dizon, megan fox, side boob, turd ferguson, vote for tessie, wtf

Sexy Celebs Pooping

Tuesday, December 14th, 2010

Not really how I want to think of Jessica Alba, but theres always this picture!

More celebs after the jump…

Click to continue »

Posted in celebrity, funny, jessica alba, megan fox | 1 Response »
Tags: celebrity, comedy, funny, humor, jessica alba, jessica simpson, lol, megan fox, olivia munn, sexy, turd ferguson

Your Friend Is Gay If… Part 4

Thursday, November 11th, 2010

He drinks black coffee and says, “Just how I like my men, strong and Back”
His name is Perez Hilton
His real name is Mark but wants people to call him “Madonna”
He watches Glee for the music and not for Lea Michele
He’s 5 feet 7 inches tall and weighs 150 pounds yet wants to play the center position during your annual Thanksgiving Turkey Bowl
He’s a professional dancer
Even though his eyes are brown, he gave himself the nickname “Greeneyes”
He rides dick
Says “I only kiss other guys when Im drunk”
He collects anything other than panties that were left in his bedroom
He wears a man scarf
Makes his football picks based off the teams uniform color
He thinks Brad Pitt and George Clooney are awesome
He fights for gay rights
He takes his own cell phone pics with a duck-face
He has a gay room-mate who sleeps in the same bed with him
He has snorted coke of another mans cock
He goes to the beauty salon instead of the barber shop to get a hair cut
He is on team Edward or team Jacob or team Coco
He tans
He kisses you on both cheeks when he sees you out in the street
He dated Megan Fox, Jessica Alba, Rosie Jones and Kelly Brook and broke up with them because they didnt do anything for him. Ok Im wrong about that one. He’s a real man

Posted in funny, gay, humor, turd ferguson | No Responses »
Tags: brad pitt, comedy, funny, gay, george clooney, humor, jessica alba, kelly brook, lol, madonna, megan fox, perez hilton, rosie jones, turd ferguson, twilight

On Sunday BET had their inaugural “Black Girls Rock!” award show. Missy Elliot won the Lifetime Achievement Award. Missy Elliot, really? She had 3 songs and all 3 are questionable as far as it being worthy of any type of acknowledgment. How about giving that award to oh I don’t know… anyone other than Missy Elliot. Fuck it, give it Louis Gossett Jr. I know he’s not a girl but he did more last week when he went to the mall and bought a new beanie than Missy Elliot has done in her life.

Another award went to Raven-Symone. The name of the award was, get this “Young, Black and Gifted Trophy”. Even though Im not young, Black or gifted… I WANT THIS TROPHY! Raven on the other hand, is young, Black and really not gifted. She was cute on The Cosby Show and then got fat on That’s So Raven. If her gift is eating like Precious then yes, she did deserve this trophy.

Why doesn’t FOX have a “White Girls Rock!” award show? Why? Because Al Sharpton would yell that’s racist. I’d watch that show. I love White girls. Im actually going to start the “White Girls Rock! award show and Megan Fox wins every category because its my show.

Posted in black history month, celebrity, funny, humor | 2 Responses »
Tags: al sharpton, award show, bet, black, black girls rock, comedy, funny, humor, lol, megan fox, mgan fox, missy elliot, raven symone, turd ferguson

Megan Fox as The Mona Lisa

Monday, October 25th, 2010

[via Piccsy]

Posted in celebrity, i want to bang, id hit it, megan fox | No Responses »
Tags: id hit it, megan fox, mona lisa, sexy, turd ferguson

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