Turd Ferguson's Blog

Celeb Sightings

This past holiday weekend I got to see a lot of celebrities! Let me tell you who I saw, where and what were they doing:

1. John Goodman – I saw at Hunted Trails wearing a womans wig and putting on lip stick.
2. Michael Jordan – I saw at the Sears Tower wearing his own Bulls uniform. He was telling everyone that he wasnt MJ.
3. Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston – I saw them in the alley on Central Park and Palmer Ave. Jennifer had Vince in a head lock and was punching him on the top of his head.
4. Sean Connery – I saw him at the Out Back Steakhouse. He was filling out an application.
5. Sandra Bernhardt – I saw at the mens room in Burger King. She was peeing standing up.

Celeb Sightings

This past holiday weekend I got to see a lot of celebrities! Let me tell you who I saw, where and what were they doing:

1. John Goodman – I saw at Hunted Trails wearing a womans wig and putting on lip stick.
2. Michael Jordan – I saw at the Sears Tower wearing his own Bulls uniform. He was telling everyone that he wasnt MJ.
3. Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston – I saw them in the alley on Central Park and Palmer Ave. Jennifer had Vince in a head lock and was punching him on the top of his head.
4. Sean Connery – I saw him at the Out Back Steakhouse. He was filling out an application.
5. Sandra Bernhardt – I saw at the mens room in Burger King. She was peeing standing up.

Celeb Sightings

This past holiday weekend I got to see a lot of celebrities! Let me tell you who I saw, where and what were they doing:

1. John Goodman – I saw at Hunted Trails wearing a womans wig and putting on lip stick.
2. Michael Jordan – I saw at the Sears Tower wearing his own Bulls uniform. He was telling everyone that he wasnt MJ.
3. Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston – I saw them in the alley on Central Park and Palmer Ave. Jennifer had Vince in a head lock and was punching him on the top of his head.
4. Sean Connery – I saw him at the Out Back Steakhouse. He was filling out an application.
5. Sandra Bernhardt – I saw at the mens room in Burger King. She was peeing standing up.

Celeb Sightings

This past holiday weekend I got to see a lot of celebrities! Let me tell you who I saw, where and what were they doing:

1. John Goodman – I saw at Hunted Trails wearing a womans wig and putting on lip stick.
2. Michael Jordan – I saw at the Sears Tower wearing his own Bulls uniform. He was telling everyone that he wasnt MJ.
3. Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston – I saw them in the alley on Central Park and Palmer Ave. Jennifer had Vince in a head lock and was punching him on the top of his head.
4. Sean Connery – I saw him at the Out Back Steakhouse. He was filling out an application.
5. Sandra Bernhardt – I saw at the mens room in Burger King. She was peeing standing up.

One More Janiqua Episode

Ok. I did say that I wasnt going to post any more Janiqua stories. But this is worth posting.

The AC at her job busted and they were sent home for the day. But, they were asked to work from home. And in typical Janiqua fashion, “Huh! Gurl you crazy! Hows we finna work from home if you iz sending us home?” Her bossed just looked at her… she wondered “Is she really asking or is trying to be funny?” So her bossed as El Tigere to take her to her house and check for a computer where she could work from.

So once El Tigere walked into Janiquas house, she quickly wanted to show Tigere the house, and he agreed. But Janiqua was thinking about something else. Of course, why wouldnt she? She’s Janiqua. The first room she wanted to show him was the bathroom. El Tigere stopped dead in his tracks. “You nasty broad. Im just here to see if you have a computer so you can work from home.” She replied, “Huh! Man you crazy! Hows we finna work from home if Im finna be at home chillin? Or doin utta stuff, ya na mean?” “No I dont know what you mean you dumb heffa! Look, your computer is right there with all of the ffod stuck on the monitor.”

Are you ready for this…?

Janiqua said, “Huh? What dat iz?” “Your computer… its right there.” Janiqua then siad, “No Tigere, thats my microwave, it broke dough.” El Tigere just stood there and looked at her nodding his head.