DAMN NATURE, YOU SCARY!
Do you believe this bitch Mother Nature? Last night she took a royal shit on Chicago and dropped 25 inches on us and hit us with 75 MPH winds. Prior to the storm the weather men were talking about 18 – 24 inches, at that point I thought they were talking about 18 – 24 as a demographic and not inches of snow. Not only did it snow hard as hell, there was thunder and lightning. THUNDER AND LIGHTNING!!! While it was snowing!
This storm was being dubbed:
- snOMG
- Snowpocalypse
- Oh Snow She Didnt
- Snozilla
- Snolocoust
- Snoprah
I was just calling it “Mother Nature is an Asshole“. You know who else is an asshole? Jean Baptiste Point du Sable. He’s the Asshole who showed up here, looked around and said,
“This looks like a great place to put a city. Its nice and warm and shit. The Natives arent even wearing shoes in these neck of the woods. WOOT!”
And when he told the Native American Indians that he taking their land they told him:
Hey Asshole, you can have this land because its only June and we’re going to Arizona where its hot all-year-round. Wait until January/February. AHAHAHAHAHA!!!
