I watched bits and pieces of the Michael Jackson spectacle today and I noticed a couple of things.

1) Where was Macaulay Culkin?  He and Michael were butt-buddies… I mean the closest of buddies back in the early 90′s.

Wheres Michaels hand?

Macaulay not being at that show-of-a-funeral only proved to me that Michael knows what the inside of Culkins booty hole feels like.

2) Where was Emmanuel Lewis?  Michael Jackson carried his ass at the music awards.

I’ll tell you why lil’ Manny didnt show up at the funeral extravaganza. That night of the music awards Micheal said to Brooke Shields:

Do you remember how you told me that you wanted you wanted to get wild and be with a Black guy? Well since I dont want to be Black anymore, I found one for you. Not only is he Black, he’s a midget too!

Later that night they went back to Neverland Ranch and lil’ Manny was tappin that ass Dwarfy style. But he noticed that Michael was standing behind him fiddling with his pooper.

turd ferguson, michael jackson, emmanuel lewis, brooke shields, celebrity, funeral, concert, Macaulay Culkin, dead, picture