You might be gay…

• if you visit the wine bar at US Cellular Field.
• if you root for a team that has a wine bar.
• if you go to a tweet up.
• if you create a tweet up.
• if you have a design in your beard.
• if you poplock for no apparent reason.
• if you wear muscle shirts.
• if your friends call you Frank the Fag.
• if you critique Michelle Obama’s outfits.
• if you love that fat girl you’re dating.
• if you wear sweaters that look like this.
• if you watch Dancing With The Stars.
• if you watch American Idol.
• if you go to the Gay Pride Parade “to make fun at the gays”.
• if you follow Ashton Kutcher on Twitter.