I noticed a lot of things about Super Bowl 45 but 10 things stood out the most, here they are.

1. Christina Aguilera
When they showed her on the TV for the first time I noticed that she is out of shape. Let me reiterate that, she is fat. The second thing everyone noticed is that she fucked up the National Anthem. The third thing I noticed is that she must have been eating and singing at the same time because she sounded like shit.

2. Dorito’s Commercials: WTF?
The first Dorito’s commercial with that ugly pug was predictable the second that douche closed the door and began to tease the dog. It sucked. Speaking of sucking, WTF was up with that creepy cheese lover guy sucking the finger of the Dorito eater? Not only was it nasty, it was gay!

3. Another Fast and Furious Movie?
Cant wait to not see that. Vin Diesel and The Rock are in this one, lets hope they literally kill each other.

4. A-Rod and Cameron Diaz
Look, I didnt know what to say about A-Rod getting fed popcorn by Cameron Diaz. Although the more I thought about it the more I thought, “A-Rod must be the biggest pimp at the game with Ashton Kutcher being second because he sent Demi for a beer and nachos while he got face time with a texting John Madden, the Bush’s and Condi Rice.” The only thing that would have been better would have been if Diaz was feeding A-Rod something other than popcorn, like a hotdog.

5. Faith Hill TeleFlora Commercial
The majority of this years commercials sucked. There were a few that were pretty good, like this one.

6. Half Time Show
How many times were we reminded that The Black Eye Peas were performing at the half? I lost count at 27. Folk, I dont know what you thought, but I thought they SUCKED! I know of a small band called Crazy Scorsese that is a lot better than those ass hats. Were the mics on for those two not named Fergie and Wil.I.Am? Usher? Is he still relevant? Slash? Ok I guess except that Fergalious was trying to act all striper-ish and it wasnt happening.

Listen to this Crazy Scorsese video and ignore the lunatic trying to kill himself downhill skiing

7. James Jones is No Jerry Rice
Hell James Jones isnt even a poormans Jordy Nelson. I’ve never seen a wide receiver drop so many potentially big plays.
Note to self: Do not draft James Jones in any fantasy league.

8. The First 3 Quarters of the Game
Oh my God from the National Anthem to the beginning of the 4th quarter was tough to watch, commercials and half time show included. Thank goodness that the Steelers were given some life with some terrible calls causing momentum to shift in the Steelers way. I think those calls caused a really good 4th quarter.

9. Kim Kardashian’s Commercial
Sexy. Kim was falling out of favor with you’r boy Turd McFergy until I saw that commercial. I can honestly sit here and tell you that I had no idea what she was selling.

Oh, it was a Sketchers commercials.

10. Brett Favre
Not one mention of him. And at the end of the game I wondered if he was drunk under a tractor.