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Lindsey Vonn Can Eat It

Written by Turd Ferguson on February 25th, 2010

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I cant stand Lindsey Vonn. I dont know who made her “Americas Darling”, but that bitch is annoying.

  • She was talking about “if I host SNL…” Um, you’re not Michael Phelps. When you win 7 Gold Medals and dominate the Olympics, then maybe I might want to see you host SNL. As of right now you only have 2 total medals. In another words, you suck.
  • She cried when she won her Gold Medal. What? Were you expecting to lose? Thats why girls should play sports. Theres no crying in baseball or any sport for that matter.
  • Her Sports Illustrated cover wasnt even as sexy as all of those womans rights yentas were bitching about.
  • She mocked Tiger Woods. Really? The richest, most famous athlete in the world? She said about the hugs Tiger got after his news conference, “‘Yeah, you’re awesome, you go have that sex.” That shitty comment isnt even funny. Only I can mock Tiger and get away with it.
  • She’s not even the hottest Winter Olympian.  Tanith Belbin is way hotter!  In fact, Lindsey is chubby!
  • Damn Tanith Belbin is hot! I’d hit it.
  • Now Lindsey broke her finger in a crash. Boo-fucking-hoo! Are you gonna cry because of that too?

Hopefully we will never see Lindsey Vonn after these Olympics. Because no one wants to see an over-weight athlete beg for the limelight. She should try go getting a real job because Im 100% sure that I make more money per year than a professional down hill skier does.

turd ferguson, lindsey vonn, tanith belbin, winter olympics, sports, michael phelps, snl, tiger woods, funny, humor

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