Turd Ferguson’s Best of 2009

Written by Turd Ferguson on December 11th, 2009

2009 was a year that its up’s and downs for the man you all know as Turd Ferguson. The blog went from averaging over 800 visitors a day on the old BlogSpot site before Google fucked shit up for me. But hey, because of Googles fuck up I was forced to get this domain name. So I guess its OK except that since that fuck up I havent received a single AdSense check.

But enough of me, lets review the year that was…

Ass of the Year:
This was a tough decision considering this whooty was the front runner for several months, but then I introduced you to Rosa Acosta. But I took a vote and the winner is Jessica AKA Miss Rabbit.

Asshole of the Year:
Hands down its me, Turd Ferguson for hoping this guy got stomped on.

Person I Wish Would Die the Most:
Heidi Montag. Case closed. Go hang yourself, trick.

Sexiest Celebrity of the Year:
Without a doubt Kelly Brooke. Hotness thats not nearly exposed as it should be. Rub one out to her right here. And rub another out right here.

Best Hook Up of the Year:
It certainly wasnt Steve Phillips. That guy hooked up with a bull dyke. So the winner is definitely Tiger-Tiger-Woods ya’ll! Homeboy is hooking up with enough girls for each hole for a round of golf.

MILF of the Year:
Another tough one because Alessandra Ambrosio is fun to look at, but Jessica Alba reminded us that she’s still the MILFiest MILF in Hollywood.

TwitPic of the Year:
I was torn between Ancilla Tilia, Bar Rafeli and Kim Kardashian. Im going to give it to Kimmy K for blessing us with this TwitPic.

Best Rap Song of the Year:
Natalie Portman on SNL. Yeah I know it was a spoof but the beat is hard son!

Best Sex Tape of the Year:
Easy, the Miss Universe contestant threesome was not only the best of the year, it might be the best EVER!

Gayest Wedding of the Year:
I was going to give this award to my brother until I found out that he married a female. Yes I thought he was guy for the first 29 years of his life. But the Gayest Wedding had to go to Jamil and Michael.

Best WTF of the Year:
For the first time ever Im giving back to back awards, Jamil and Michael.

Fight of the Year:
I verbally kicked @egspoony in the ass here and here . Some advise to anyone who is looking for trouble with me, dont fuck with me. Ask @egspoony

The last award is the best award, Best I Want to Bang of the Year:
Wow… who do give this award to? Kim Kardashian? Maybe. Jessica Burciaga? Nope. Megan Fox? Nah. Im giving it to the post that got almost 2000 views, Jessica Mutha Fuckin’ AKA Miss Rabbit?