I’ve been meaning to post this since Christmas Day. Todays Asshole of the Day is a relative of mine. You see, every year without failing I get a shitty Christmas gift and this year was no exception.

This relative of mine gave my wife an envelope. Let me get this straight, its really my wifes relative. He gave her an envelope for the two of us. And inside was a sheet of paper. My wife took a quick look at the paper and said, “Oh, its a $50 gift certificate to a restaurant.” I was like cool. Right? Wrong. My wife then said, and Im quoting her:

Oh no its not. It says, “Spend $50 at this restaurant and save $10.”

So I said, and I quote:

They gave us a fucking coupon? You’re kidding me right?

She wasnt kidding and no it wasnt a joke. It was their “gift” to us. Heres the best part, I checked the menu prices online at this shack of a Puerto Rican restaurant and there is no way I can spend $50 at one shot at this place. The most expensive thing is a $8 value meal.

To spend those $50:

1. I’d have to invite them, which aint happening!
2. I’d have to buy 13 orders of fried banana’s
3. I’d have to leave a big ass tip
4. I’d have to buy the fucking restaurant!

Mind you, all I wanted for Christmas this year was a Handjob. So needless to say that I’ll be re-gifting that coupon next Christmas, to them.

funny, humor, asshole, christmas, gift, bad gift