Jessica Simpson, Kellie Pickler, Julianne Hough and add some Leann Rhymes. If I can bang all 4 of them, I’ll listen to Country music for as long as they want me to.
jessica simpson, Kellie Pickler, Julianne Hough, Leann Rhymes, country, music, picture, fantasy, celebrity
One of my favorate Puerto Rican baseball players Roberto Alomar is accused of giving this White girl, Ilya Dall HIV. Note to Ilya: you’re not the story here sweetie, Robby is. All you’re doing is making yourself look like a whore because after all, you were banging a sports superstar while you were married.
But thats not what this post is about. Its about hoping that Roberto Alomar, the greatest second baseman of this era doent have “the hiv”.
Quick story:
My sister, her husband and my girlfreind at the time went to a nice restaurant for my birthday one year. And sitting the booth right next to us was Ryne Sandberg. Everyone in the restaurant knew it was my birthday because Im kind of a big deal here in Chicago. So I said hi to Sandberg and the dickbag blew me off. So I said hi a second time. Heres what happened:
Dickbag: Look, I dont care who you are. Im not giving out autographs.
Me: Oh Im sorry, I thought you were Roberto Alomar, the greatest second baseman of his time. Besides, no one asked you for your autograph.
Dickbag’s wife: My husband is better than Alomar!
My table: HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!
Dickbag: Oh I didnt realize it was you Mr. Ferguson. Please dont mind my wife.
Me: Oh now you want to say hi. Why dont you turn around and keep puttng katchup on those fries.
Dickbag’s wife: Who does he think he is?
My table: (heckling) ALOMAR! ALOMAR! ALOMAR!
When Sandberg was done eating he walked out with his head hanging low.
Oh and by the way, Ilya Dall is f’ing hot! I would have tried to get her pregnant!
